Breakdown - Mariah Carey
I'm feeling stressed, y'all.
I know my father's doing fine. He's comfortably ensconced in a rehabilitation centre to help him regain strength and movement, but, dang, I wish I was there with him.
I feel kinda helpless in this situation. I mean, there are things I can do: pay some bills, offer my mother moral support, pray... but because I'm well far away, I feel like I can't do a dayum thing.
Last night, my mom told me my father lost a lot of weight. Pops isn't the biggest dude out there, so any weight loss is significant. I guess that's why I'm feeling a little bit on edge and freaked out.
That, and the fact that I haven't spoken to him since Tuesday.
Wednesday morning, he left the hospital and made the trek out to Laval. That in itself is stressful, 'cause my mother can't drive and it took her and my aunt three hours to get home Wednesday afternoon.
Poor Mom was all tired out by the time I called her last night.
I don't want her to overdo it either. My mother isn't a young woman. She's gotta take care of herself and get some rest.
One of the good things about the rehab centre is that because Pops is going to be doing so much physio, Mom won't be able to sit around the hospital and worry. And I know my mother can worry. And my aunt from Barbados is in town for five more weeks, so my mother can't fall into any worried, miserable state.
I just wish I wasn't so far away.
That way, I could do the three hour trek with Mom. Or I could try my luck driving into Laval (once we got the car's brakes fixed). I could make sure that they're both eating and I could see for myself how my father is progressing.
But, I have to leave it in God's hands because that's all I can do.
I read last night: "Be still and know that I am God" from Psalm 46 -- and it did calm me down. In the middle of all this confusion in my soul and this stress, God knows what He's doing. I just have to 'be still and know'.
I'm trying not to worry.
I will keep on praying.
I really just want my daddy at home working in the garden with my mom.
But, I'm going to continue to 'be still'.
I know my father's doing fine. He's comfortably ensconced in a rehabilitation centre to help him regain strength and movement, but, dang, I wish I was there with him.
I feel kinda helpless in this situation. I mean, there are things I can do: pay some bills, offer my mother moral support, pray... but because I'm well far away, I feel like I can't do a dayum thing.
Last night, my mom told me my father lost a lot of weight. Pops isn't the biggest dude out there, so any weight loss is significant. I guess that's why I'm feeling a little bit on edge and freaked out.
That, and the fact that I haven't spoken to him since Tuesday.
Wednesday morning, he left the hospital and made the trek out to Laval. That in itself is stressful, 'cause my mother can't drive and it took her and my aunt three hours to get home Wednesday afternoon.
Poor Mom was all tired out by the time I called her last night.
I don't want her to overdo it either. My mother isn't a young woman. She's gotta take care of herself and get some rest.
One of the good things about the rehab centre is that because Pops is going to be doing so much physio, Mom won't be able to sit around the hospital and worry. And I know my mother can worry. And my aunt from Barbados is in town for five more weeks, so my mother can't fall into any worried, miserable state.
I just wish I wasn't so far away.
That way, I could do the three hour trek with Mom. Or I could try my luck driving into Laval (once we got the car's brakes fixed). I could make sure that they're both eating and I could see for myself how my father is progressing.
But, I have to leave it in God's hands because that's all I can do.
I read last night: "Be still and know that I am God" from Psalm 46 -- and it did calm me down. In the middle of all this confusion in my soul and this stress, God knows what He's doing. I just have to 'be still and know'.
I'm trying not to worry.
I will keep on praying.
I really just want my daddy at home working in the garden with my mom.
But, I'm going to continue to 'be still'.
posted by Urban Sista | 6:15 PM
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